Lars and the Real Girl (2007) – Lars Is A Good Man

She may not be ‘real’. But she is real, especially to the beloved ones.

It is hard to grow up. During growing up, we need to accept some things we don’t want to believe it’s true, such as imaginary friends and beloved dolls. I had a beautiful doll. You may say all dolls are beautiful because they are meant to be. If that’s true, mine must be more beautiful. My Mom brought her home when I was only 15 months old. She was covered in pink puffy clothes and a hat in same color. Big dark eyes and small red lips. She had no official name but I called her Sweetie. I shared a lot of toys with her and many laughters and tears. It must have been quite emotional for her as well. Till I went to primary school, I noticed Sweetie never grew up as the others and I guess it was till then I knew she was not ‘real’. And by the time I felt too lonely, family had to hide her away so I could get over that. She is now in my cupboard together with my other loved toys. I wrap her carefully with blanket, the one I used when I was little. And she looks as beautiful as the way I remember her by.

Lars was elder with Bionca than I was with Sweetie. He ordered her from internet. He was excited to have her around and was desperate to introduce her to his brother, sister-in-law, neighbours and colleagues. Only he could understand Bionca’s words and thoughts. To help him going through the transition, all the people in town treated Bionca as a ‘real’ person. They found her volunteer jobs in the hospital, school and even invite her for parties. Slowly Lars came to find out Bionca couldn’t provide any living experiences and it may not be going anywhere. He finally let her go and open arms to the living girl.

There are many impressive scenes in this movie. It reminded me of many similar feelings during my growing up journey. Feeling lonely, and still holding on self-constraint, trying to be good, being afraid of knowing what is already known, avoiding of being hurt by hurting the others with good cause. So much so on. But Lars is a good man. He is warm-hearted, good-natured, self-exclusive and painfully shy. He just lost his way to communicate with people about his feelings. Bionca was the bridge to fill up the gap between Lars and the world. On Bionca’s funeral, the priest said,

Lars asked us not to wear black today. He did so to remind us that this is no ordinary funeral. We are here to celebrate Bianca’s extraordinary life. From her wheel chair, Bianca reached out and touched us all in ways we could have never imagined. She was a teacher. She was a lesson to courage. And Bianca loved us all, specially Lars. Especially him.

How do we judge real? Maybe Bianca was not real as we ususally define. She wasn’t speaking or feeling or knowing what she brought to Lars. But what Lars felt and experienced was absolutely real. We see the warm feelings and good spirits in human beings. We see the shining part of characters in ordinary people. We witness the reality from surrealness. Time is magic. It teaches us to move on and turning new pages without giving too much away. Sometimes we receive false signals from the real but experiece real enlightenments from the false. Just a kind reminder, we should always be true to ourselves. It’s not easy. But it’s real. If we have to plan or project for our life, I want to say, Let’s plan for change. Let’s plan to be surprised. Let’s plan to be real. Let’s plan to be true.

One more thing I’d like to add about this movie:

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore
And Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in Love can make it

Take my heart and please don’t break it
Love was made for me and you